Leadership: Two Sides not Two-faced

You may have heard people talk about there being two sides to every good leader.  While they may have a stern side it is generally presented in such a way that it is also educationally nurturing for their staff.  They might encourage you to be a calculated risk taker and then also question why you did what you did so you can learn from the process.  These are just a couple examples of appropriate ways good leaders demonstrate two sides of their leadership.  

Having two sides to your leadership style or being two–faced are definitively different things and only one of those is appropriate. One is done by true leaders wishing to allow their team to deepen and flourish in their positions.  The other is done by a boss that manages everyone and everything in a condescending way.  Likewise, one will earn respect from the team and the other will immediately lose it.  

Employees are intelligent and will see through the act of that second management style.  They will catch on to the less than genuine comments and certainly remember the outbursts that confirmed their feelings of not being truly valued or respected.  It’s hard to earn back respect from a team, but not impossible if you’re able to recognize shortcomings and work towards improving them in a transparent way.

“I am not a product of my circumstances.  I am a product of my decisions.” – Stephen Covey

I’ve had a handful of less than desired managers over the years and all of them fell into a category of compensating for insecurities by trying to be excessively dominant, demeaning and/or controlling.  Unfortunately, since none of them have realized this leadership flaw just yet they continue to drive away quality employees. Each was the very reason I decided to look for a new opportunity where I could learn, thrive and be respected for what I had to offer instead of being put down, yelled at and frequently unappreciated.

Employees don’t expect leaders to be perfect.  No one is perfect and employees recognize that.  It’s okay to show a vulnerable side, admit you’ve made mistakes and admit that you’re working to make changes to improve as a leader.  That, my friend, will gain you far more support and open the door to the possibility of being respected by your team again.  Be human, be humble and let your team help you on the journey.  You can learn as much from them as they can from you if only you’re willing to try.