After being divorced getting married again can be terrifying. Although you’re obviously happy and in love, the idea of possibly making the same mistake twice can’t help but find its way into your brain. With less then five months left to go we are entering crunch time and as deadlines approach I find myself starting to panic.
Invitations are being created, a cake tasting needs to take place and I need to have my dress altered. However, I’ve been dragging my feet and finally acknowledged out loud that it’s because I’m in full panic mode. I’m so frightened that by moving forward in my life I might make all the same mistakes again and end up heading down the path towards a second divorce if I remarry.
Up until now I was perfectly cool, calm, collected and excited to get married again. It’s as if I woke up one morning and it hit me that we’re quickly approaching the point that there’s no turning back. There was a small voice in the back of my head that made me doubt that I should have gone though with my first marriage. The night before the wedding I realized I was potentially about to make the biggest mistake of my life.
Now, because of everything I’ve already been through, I’m all of a sudden freaking out quietly inside each day and I think it is all because I’m so afraid of what happened last time. It’s like being in a major car accident where you were hit by another driver and then getting back behind the wheel again. Your palms are sweaty, you heart is racing, and you don’t trust anyone around you. How do you move past the bad taste a first marriage left in your mouth and prepare for a second one ahead?