Alexis Senge JohnsonIt’s a statement of unpopular opinion, but I’m all about being real so I’m just going to put it out there. For most of you, your idea of a work-life balance is a lie. There, I’ve said it and you can go ahead disagreeing and making excuses for why you think I am wrong. Go ahead, I’ll wait…
Everyone seems to have this version of what they believe an acceptable work-life balance would be:
• I work from home with my significant other/kids/cat/dogs by my side so I never miss out on anything
• I work four 10-hour days so that I get three days off and never miss out on anything
• I work remotely so I can travel the world with my device on my hip and never miss out on anything
• I work for a boss that understands how important family time is so they let me make up hours elsewhere so that I never miss out on anything
• I can take lots of vacation days throughout the year to make sure I never miss out on anything
Don’t those all sound ideal? Of course they do. Tell me this…do you really think that if you had (fill in the blank with your favorite dream demand) that you’d never miss out on anything? The truthful answer is no. I know that’s not the answer you want to hear or think you’d give, but after years of experiences with others I’d tell you it’s the most accurate answer.
• Those working traditional jobs from home complain they are too distracted and feel like they can’t fully dedicate their attention to everything at once and struggle setting boundaries.
• The four 10-hour days employees are always struggling to figure out how to squeeze life (friends, spouses, school, kids, etc.) into the few hours that are left after commuting and working for 10 hours. They always talk about having to cram everything into their three days off to make up for the other four days a week.
• Ah, the luxury of traveling the world tied to a device on your hip 24/7 that keeps your attention and doesn’t allow you to enjoy where you are at any given time. Sitting on the beach in Bali is probably fabulous, but I’d like it more if I wasn’t tied to my laptop the whole time.
• I know people working for a boss that lets them take the day to attend their child’s field trip if they made up the hours elsewhere. After doing something like that repeatedly for different occasions they discovered that they just found themselves working 10-hour days, working late at night from home or stuck at the office and missing more and more family dinners.
• Lots of vacation days seems like the real dream, doesn’t it? Until you get back to work each time and find yourself buried so far behind that you feel like you’re being suffocated by your inbox time and time again.
In each instance people I’ve known and worked with got exactly what they hoped. They left a job that didn’t have their ideal version of work-life balance, they moved to a job that they just knew did and later found themselves dissatisfied with their new work-life balance. The bottom line is that your idea of a work-life balance is a lie. I need to hear this just as much as you.
You’re always going to miss out on something on one side or the other. There’s no ideal situation. They all are what you make of them. It’s impossible, and unhealthy I might add, to expect otherwise so just let that sink in so you can embrace it and move onward with your awesomeness.
Make the best out of what you have or change your situation and make the best out of that one. It’s all about your perception of what you can live with. Either way, it’s time to let go of this preconceived notion that the work-life balance grass is always greener on the other side.
