Alexis Senge JohnsonHow do you ask your loved ones to be a part of your bridal party nowadays? I’m not looking for creative suggestions exactly, but more like an explanation of how you can do it without feeling guilty. It seems like everyone has a million obligations today and I am struggling to ask the rest of my bridesmaids if they would be a part of our big day. I think it is easier for men then it is women when it comes to this. For starters guys are so much more casual about it and usually the only cost incurred by a potential groomsman is a suit or tux rental. However, for gals it is a bit more of a commitment monetarily.
Bridesmaid dresses can be expensive even when you are doing your best to keep them lower on the budget spectrum. I almost wish I could afford to purchase them for the girls because then I wouldn’t feel so bad about asking them to take on the commitment financially. Now my maid of honor rocks my socks, but at this point she’s been the only piece of my side of the puzzle that has been completed. My timely future groom has actually been waiting on me to ask the gals first before he made the rounds to ask his guys. At this point I’m sure he’s getting a bit impatient with me, but I just feel like it is such a burden on my friends when I consider all that they have on their plate at the moment.
It seems like they are either busy with their own crazy schedule and, like me, on a budget. The discussion of setting a date has been hard enough, but now I find myself feeling horribly guilty about asking the gals to take time out of their schedules to be a part of our day. Does every bride go through this now or am I just losing my mind? I want the gals to be there and I want them to be by my side as I do things right this time, but not while taking a toll on their schedules and other financial obligations. When do you just take the plunge and stop worrying about what they might say?
Alexis those are the exact dresses I am using! Jk!!!! I felt the same way at first. But when I asked my bridesmaids I gave everyone an ‘out’. I told them not to feel obligated but to know that I wanted them to be part of my special day. All but one accepted… (she’s going to give birth 2 weeks before my wedding 🙂 ) I also told them that since this is my 2nd wedding, I did not expect a shower, nor did I want an all out bachelorette party. Instead, I just want to go zip lining and to a wine vineyard/bar. Very quiet. As for dresses- there’s a great website called outerinner.com that has dresses for very reasonable prices… $109 is what mine are and there was a $25 coupon for new customers. I wish you luck on this adventure and hope you have a positive outcome!!! Remember- people WANT to share in your day and will not think of it as a burden 🙂
Thanks for the website info Desiree. I’ll look into it. Seeing as how this is my second wedding as well, I think I might try giving them am out as well. I just don’t want anyone to feel too pressured as I know times are tough for everyone.
If they don’t feel pressured and you won’t feel hurt if they aren’t able to participate, due to lack of funds or time, then just ask them! Those who love you should be just as eager to celebrate your happiness, the fact that it’s your 2nd wedding should only mean you’re really sure this time!! There are lots of ways that you can aim to keep their costs down and I’m sure none of your closest friends would be worried about a financial burden knowing what a sensible and frugal girl you are. And there are so many beautiful weddings these days with bridesmaids in non-matching dresses that they chose individually and will want to wear again. As long as you don’t ask or expect them to spend money on all kinds of things you shouldn’t feel bad for asking. They’d gladly spend time and money coming to celebrate as your guest anyway, right??
That’s true Erin. Thanks for presenting it a different way.
Alexis! HI pretty! Trust me when I say I have a zillion things on my plate right now. 6 weddings this year, 3 of which either my husband or I are in, 2 of my bridesmaids are having babies so I have their showers to plan and execute, just to name a few things. Not to mention I have already been in 8 weddings. And I can happily say, for each and every one of them, I have no regrets. Sure, it was a bit tight financially, and sure, some of the brides got a bit crazy, and of course it was a bit demanding on my schedule, but I wouldn’t trade those moments for anything. Being able to stand by my dearest friends through every step of their fairytale weddings, is an honor. Your friends will, most likely, be so honored that you asked and even more pleased that you are keeping their budget and time schedules in mind. Desiree has the right idea with giving them an out. But knowing what a wonderful friend you are, they will gladly stand by you, even wearing those terrible dresses.
Good gracious you’re busy Bailey! I guess since I’ve never been a bridesmaid I’m not used to this. No matter what, I won’t make them wear dresses as horrible as the Solid Gold Dancer ones above!
Also, look what I JUST found! This is so great!!
http://greenweddingshoes.com/little-borrowed-dress/
What a find! Thanks for passing it along Erin!
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Whatever you do, stay faaaaaar far away from David’s Bridal. They are a nightmare, especially the one in Orlando.
We actually went there. Although I didn’t feel like the consultant listened to a word I said or was in any way helpful, they did have a large selection and some amazing deals. If you don’t mind being left pretty much on your own then it’s an okay place to look for a dress. If you’re looking for amazing customer service then you definitely should head elsewhere.