Alexis Senge Johnson
For years now I’ve thought that maybe my brain has been wired incorrectly because I think about sex probably as often as a thirteen year old boy. Now, I will say that it wasn’t always that way and therefore my ex-husband definitely got the short end of the stick on being with me during my younger years before I became so comfortable with who I am. I spent too much time worrying, like most younger gals, about how I would be perceived and what I looked like that I never let myself completely give in to what was going on and just be immersed in the experience. Once you get to the point that you can be not just happy but proud of your looks, you’ll find sex to be a truly empowering experience where you are at the helm of the ship.
Gals, we’re the ones in charge. We’ve got what they want and yes you could say the same for them, but we all know the power lies in our hands to grant them access to what some joking call the holy grail. That’s a truly powerful position to be in so the moment you start using it against a guy and taking sex hostage you’ve changed it from an empowering situation into a strategically used weapon in an emotional war. The problem then is that you’ve taken all the excitement, romance, attraction and electricity out of the experience and made it into something that is dreaded and you’re only doing to temporarily appease someone’s continued requests. That’s not what sex is supposed to be all about.
It’s taken me several years to figure out why this is a subject frequently on my mind. I’ve finally come to the conclusion that it is because I crave the electrical connection that you have with someone when you’ve so willingly given yourself to them in that way. When you care about someone so much that every touch and glance throughout the day becomes its own romantic form of foreplay, sex becomes a whole new world. The chemistry that is created in that type of instance heightens everything. It’s not just the physical act any more.
The way someone can look at you so adoringly as if you’re the only thing they’ve ever needed in their life is a powerful thing. It’s not just a look though. You can feel how genuine they are in their touch and kiss. That creates an unsurpassed connection between two people and takes sex to a whole new level. Now, if you’re using sex as a weapon to get what you want from your guy then I can guarantee you that you’re never going to get that look from him. You’ll only find distain or momentary pleasure in his touch and kiss. You’re missing out on the best connection possible because of the very situation you created.
Learn to love your body the way it is as he wouldn’t be with you if he didn’t. Learn that sex isn’t something to hold hostage and to be used as a weapon in an emotional war against the one you care for the most. If you can do those things then you will quickly learn that the most indescribable experience can be a part of your life. If that’s the case then you just might find yourself thinking about it as often as I do and then finally I won’t be the only one agreeing with my male counterparts.
