Alexis Senge Johnson
No one wants to work with a “Negative Nelly.” Over my last several years I’ve had the pleasure of working at multiple locations and it has given me the opportunity to compare managers from one place to another. Unfortunately, I’m seeing a trend with female managers and it is one that makes me grind my teeth while I smile politely back at them. Therefore, let the record show that I’m doing my due diligence in notifying you that no one wants to work with you when you’re negative. As a matter of fact, I’m joining the guys on this one. It makes me cringe when you walk in the door complaining at the beginning of your shift, shoot off a snarky email reply to me or roll your eyes every time you have to actually do your job. I’m sorry, but it needed to be said.
I will also point out that some of the gals aren’t alone in committing this crime. I’ve worked with a fair share of men that were the same way. When you work with people on a team that have a negative outlook on almost every aspect of their job it is hard to want to include them. For those of us who refuse to let you bring us down, this trait tends to push us all away from you and keep us as far away as possible. Quite frankly it’s because we rather keep on working our day-to-day tasks as if you’re not sitting in the corner complaining. I’m not exactly sure who told you that this was an attractive trait to possess as a manager, or even in life to be frank, but I’m here on behalf of all of those you work with to let you know that it’s not becoming of you in the least.
We preferred when you were an integral part of the team with positive suggestions on how we can tackle the tough situations we are facing. Your scoffing in meetings hasn’t been quite as helpful with solving solutions as you thought, so if you could return tomorrow wearing your thinking cap and a smile it would be greatly appreciated. Look gang, we all have it tough at work and the idea of having a team is that we can work more efficiently if we all work together. Well, realize that if you elect to be the “Negative Nelly” of the group then you’re pulling us all down and lessening our chances of being effective as a management team.
We all work together so that our employer can capitalize on our strengths and therefore you must have one deep down inside that they saw when they first interviewed you. Let’s try to start off this New Year by kicking the negative attitude to the side and remembering why we were all brought together as a team. Show up ready to work as a member of the team and we’ll be glad to welcome you back. Work can be rough, so let us not make it harder than it already is.
I have been in the hospitality industry for over 15 years and this article hits home. Negative Nelly’s get on my nerves and definitely pull the morale of the team down. You make some very valid points in this article. Thank you for putting it out there. It needed to be brought to light so others realize that we need more Positive Polly’s in the workplace and life in general. =)
Thanks so much Molly! You can never have too many Positive Polly’s in the workplace.
I have such a problem with this. My managers told me after an interview for promotion that I didn’t point out issues to them enough, I simply took care of them instead which wasn’t letting them know there was a problem. So I started pointing out the big ones. I applied for promotion again recently and was told that I am perceived as so negative they won’t even interview me. The only difference between then and now is doing what they asked, in simple factual statements. The last time they told me the interviews went great and they’d be happy to see me promoted the next time an opening came up. Only four months passed and I’ve not changed any other thing I do, and my coworkers don’t see me as negative, just the management. So my only chance at promotion it to change unknown managers’ perception of me as negative.
Meanwhile the management all whine, complain and are cranky as anything. They snap at you when you don’t do what they want or don’t get it done when they think you should. I’ve had tons of work added to my shift and its not physically possible to finish it all which has become a point of contention when they start babysitting me “to make sure you get your work done” because having never done my job or worked in my area, they think its possible to get stuff done way faster than its physically possible to do. Many of them are hated, because they never tell you you did well or thank you for your hard work. So why do we already have management who are negative and hated by the average employee, if only management hates me and won’t let me get a promotion?
That’s a sticky situation Angela. I’ve ha managers in the past that wanted to be sure they were aware of problems so they could fix them as well. In order to not come off as if I was whining or ratting out others I would fix then problem and then present the problem with my solution and ask if that is the type of solution they would want me to proceed with in the future. That way it was a learning experience for all involved. If they didn’t want the problem fixed that way then try had a chance to educate me on how they would like the situation handled in the future. If they did like my solution then at least they were aware a problem existed before that. I wonder if that could help in your solution. You mentioned that in the past you generally just handled the problem yourself, so you are obviously good with correcting issues already. Trying this tactic allows you to be yourself, fix the issues, still bring them forward to you management team but in a way that doesn’t seem negative in context. Do you think that would help?
Sadly I do normally end up correcting them myself and then telling them after. I work in a grocery section or a large retailer and not fixing them means not getting my work “done” properly. The chief concern was that this problem solving and fixing isn’t something they expect from my pay grade, as I am uniquely over-knowledgeable for my position through tinkering and self-teaching. So they were concerned they were taking advantage of my knowledge without knowing how much I was truly doing and being able to acknowledge my input.
The management interview is all about identifying a time you found a problem, what you did about it, who you may have worked with to solve it and the outcome after you implemented the “fix”. So the step of either working with management on the problem or at least making them aware was the only flaw they saw last time. The management doesn’t ever really have to learn how to fix these things except in the abstract, as they never actually do my job, just oversee it and other more lofty things in the department.
This negative thing is kind of out of left field though, since it wasn’t mentioned last time and I’ve not changed how I work. But its impossible to address if I can’t pinpoint what I’m doing or who I’m dealing with. When I saw your post linked through BlogHer I think I was hoping for the magic fix, lol.
Oh Angela, I’m so sorry to hear this situation. I understand it a little better now that you’re broken it down. If you are a frontline employee that keeps bringing these problems forward, as you believe you were asked after your first interview, I can see how you are so frustrated by what they have told you after your second interview. In this instance I don’t believe you are the problem, but that it is more your management team that isn’t quite understanding you’re bringing these items forward to better the establishment. Maybe it is time to request a sit down to see how they wish to receive the information so that you aren’t being taken advantage of and they aren’t perceiving you as a Negative Nelly for trying to help the store. I think clearing the air and figuring out how to do what they have asked of you, so that you can ultimately get to the next spot you’re meant for, is going to be the best next step. It gives everyone a chance to better understand what’s going on without any misinterpretation. You know that they asked you to bring these problems forward after your first interview as that was such an important fact for you to remember and I’m sure it remained in the forefront of you mind. However, it might be something they said and don’t even remember mentioning so now they can’t understand why you are always pointing out problems. I’m thinking getting you all on the same page is the most important key to this.
I’ve been taking some time to think through my next steps and talking with some trusted coworkers about how they would proceed. I didn’t want to just respond immediately since I was so wounded and caught off guard. I’ve been working on making a list of what happened and how I saw it and am hoping that will get be further answers as to whether they truly want me promoted or if its just time to seek out a different opportunity.
Thanks for letting me hash this out. Its hard to find someone to trust completely at work right now, since I’m always second guessing what they might be saying behind my back as soon as they turn around from a conversation.
That sounds like an excellent approach and ensures that you approach the situation sensibly and in a calm manner. I wish you the best of luck.