Alexis Senge JohnsonAlthough I feel like one of the remaining few that never jumped on the Harry Potter bandwagon, I can still see the potential value in owning an invisibility cloak. I mean, who wouldn’t have loved one to avoid getting in trouble during their formative years? However, I realized lately that the lack of grace I extend to myself at times has become my own cloak of invisibility in the last few years. To the outside world, I’ve made my illness and daily struggles seemingly invisible by not allowing myself the grace to take a step back and admit that what I face is real and deserves my attention.
To those outside of my house, it’s a rarity that I mention my fibromyalgia. It’s not as if I’m hiding it, obviously since I’ve openly blogged about it over the years, but I’ve never wanted others to see me as anything other than strong and capable. Never once have I wanted someone to look at me and think of me as being weak for any reason at all. It’s honestly why you could find me on my feet for hours upon hours at events, some of those hours spent breaking down backdrops, when I was hours away from going into labor with our first born. I may have taken that “I am woman, hear me roar,” thing a bit to far then.
I’m a fighter and I’ve always refused to let my fibromyalgia get in the way of whatever it is I’m destined for in this lifetime, but this year I’m trying to remind myself that it’s okay to grant myself the grace my body needs as well. When the Echelon Connect bike became a possibility this past black Friday I’m pretty sure quite a few thought I was purchasing it to join the craze Peloton was stirring up with their controversial advertising. The truth is I’d realized that it was getting increasingly harder to take care of my body properly with the limited time I had to take care of myself each day.
Now with the bike in the house I can grant myself the opportunity to keep myself moving and try to ward off the ever increasing pain, but also account for the fact that once I’m done I’ll need to crawl to the shower before heading straight to bed so my body can rest. This year I’m reminding myself that all of that is okay and there is no shame in having to do things differently so that I can honor my challenges while getting things done. We all have a challenge we face each day. For some it’s obvious and for others, like me, it’s hidden but that doesn’t make it any less of a reality within our day.
Make 2020 the year you grant yourself and others the grace to deal with reality. Gals, empower other gals to do the same. This world would be a better place if we all realized we are just one small piece of the puzzle, each on our own journey and facing unique challenges every step of the way.
