It’s About Delivery

From family members to employees, the trick to mastering effective communication is all about choosing the right form of delivery for the person you’re speaking with. Most of my family gets my sense of humor, but my toddler doesn’t fall into this category. Conversations with him are taken quite literally and because of exactly that words must be chosen carefully so as not to confuse him. The same goes for those I interact with out in the world. Some prefer I pick up the phone to call while other prefer an email with all the pertinent information. Learning the best way to convey your message is crucial for both understanding and maintaining the respect of the person you’re interacting with.

My biggest hit button has been those who attempt to dominate conversations by raising their voice above all others. As soon as they start I can’t help but picture a peacock strutting around flashing it’s feathers. Like a peacock, it’s all a power play and often it’s because they don’t have respect for what someone else has to say so they believe they should raise their voice to ensure the only “valid point” is heard. My toddler does it when he wants his way but it’s easy to remind him that while kids get a say in things, they don’t get to make the final ruling. When it happens in the professional world it’s a little more difficult to handle the coworker in the same manner.

In the past, I’ve tried to let overbearing know-it-all type coworkers lead the charge since they felt their opinion was the most superior one. What I’ve found is that eventually they would hit a wall where they realized they needed the rest of the team as they weren’t actually more knowledgeable without the collective group. I also realized that by changing the phrasing I use when presenting my thoughts, my statements appeared more direct and confident. Changing how I stated the information was enough to make them sit back and let me be heard.

It was hard to get used to speaking more strongly and not taking the interruptions personally, but in the end it helped me to stay in the conversation. If both of those failed then I put them on the spot and would interject calmly with, “please let me finish” or, “Sarah, I wasn’t quite finished.” Calling them out, essentially, made it clear to others around us that I felt conversationally violated by the lack of respect they were showing. While they were demanding respect by their delivery, I was politely requesting respect to finish my thought. It’s all about the words you choose and the way you share them with others. While I continue working on this with our toddler, feel free to put it into practice with your coworkers this week.