Fix Me

One of the most endearing things I’ve ever had someone say to my face is that they stopped to briefly consider moving forward in a medical field in an effort to find a cure that would take all my pain away.  The fact that someone would even ponder that momentarily was enough to move me.  It was said so honestly and sincerely that I couldn’t even brush it off as if it was just a kind statement.  It made me wish that I had the stamina to do exactly that myself, but also warmed my heart that someone would care enough about something they don’t face in their ever day life to find a cure just because they know someone battling against it.

Fibromyalgia is a squirrely card to be dealt.  It changes your way of life physically and therefore begins to affect you mentally.  There are days when you feel like a waste of space.  When the foggy thought patterns, exhaustion and blank expression take over and you begin to believe that there’s no one in the world who could care enough to want to be around you when you’ve suddenly become a zombie.  On the other hand, there will be days when you feel like you are invincible and as if you have your old life back.  Free to remember even the smallest of details, enough energy to dance the night away and an exuberance that you cannot seem to contain.  Those good days might be fewer and father between at times, but they are still out there and something to look forward to.

However I do know one thing for sure, on those days when your body is waging a war against itself suddenly, there is something incredibly heartwarming about having the one you love right there by your side as you go through it.  They might not even realize how much it means, so I’m here to blatantly say it.  Despite the searing pain that can overwhelmingly render us to a feeling of hopelessness, having you present with your gentle touch means more then you’ll ever understand.  Feeling as if we’re not alone in the struggle against Fibro does make a difference and we don’t take your presence for granted.  You might not see it on our face at the moment, but just know your gesture doesn’t go unnoticed.

As a dancer myself, despite knowing this was written about someone battling a different disease, I was immediately drawn to this beautiful number entitled “Fix Me.”

It so gracefully sums up what days with Fibro can feel like as well as the power that comes from the one we love.  Having you by our side gives us the ability to stand up against the unknown when faced with a challenge each and every day.  I will never forget the moment when someone expressed so desperately wanting to help that they would consider finding the answer on their own.  At the time I was so taken back by the statement that I was unable to acknowledge it directly, so take this as my way of publicly declaring just how much it meant to me.