Closure

Closure can easily become the hardest intangible item to achieve in life.  Whether you are seeking closure from a relationship that is ending, from a job that you are departing from or a situation that you no longer are involved with; closure means something different for each and every one of us but it is something many of us need to achieve in order to move forward in life.  I know that there’s a saying out there that when one door closes another will open.  However, in the case of closure, sometimes it’s more important that a door closes and remain that way then the worry of another one opening.

I found over the years that closure from a job that you are leaving or a situation that you faced can be much easier to achieve then closure from a relationship that is ending.  It doesn’t seem to matter whether the relationship was with a colleague, friend or a more personal connection.  In each respect, it can be incredibly hard to close the door and bring a relationship to an end and I fully believe it is because when doing so you have to look a person straight in the face and let them know that you’re moving forward in your life without them.

In jobs you are able to formally pen your intent of leaving and provide it without having to say much to anyone at all.  It almost seems like chickening out compared to what you have to do to end a relationship with another person.  When I departed my last job I provided my two week notice and, completely by coincidence of timing, it ended up being while my superior was on vacation for a week and a half.  I followed the proper channels in letting him know, but since he was overseas he didn’t receive the notices until he returned to work a few days before I ended my employment and moved to another company.  You can’t exactly wait for your best friend or the person you’re dating to leave town and then put a post-it note on their door letting them know you’re done with that relationship.  Well, I guess you could but that’s really low.

Often times to achieve the full experience of closure it requires you to face your fears and see it through in person.  It’s painfully hard to do and something that many people, including myself, have been known to put off for as long as possible.  After all, it’s always easier to avoid a situation in the short term than confront it.  However, I promise you that in the long run you’ll save so much time, energy, frustration and pain if you just face your fears right away instead of putting it off.  What helps you move forward when you’re seeking closure?  Is it the friends that support you to see it through or the feeling you have after you walk away from the confrontation?