Alexis Senge Johnson
Can a connection found between two people be recreated between different people? It’s been an interesting year full of changes in many of the relationships I have with people. Those around us will come and go, whether it be physically or emotionally. Sometimes it is hard to accept the change as it is happening, but it’s a part of life… albeit a hard one to stomach at times.
The question I posed came about for a very specific reason. Think about those that you are closest with in one form or another. Think about what drew you together and the connection that kept you together for however long it might have been. Now, if you were to replace that person with someone else who is equally special to you in some way then do you believe you’ll ever be able to recreate the same connection your felt with the first person? I’ll let that stew in your cranium for a few moments.
We are drawn to those that become our friends or significant others for many reasons. Whether it be a common bond or a form of attraction (physical/emotional/intellectual) either way there is a magnetic pull that draws us together and keeps us in each other’s graces. Is there a certain form of human chemistry involved in this? Are we drawn together because of similarities or because opposites really do attract? No matter the reason, we undeniably are compelled to be connected in some way, shape or form.
Now, knowing that there is some form of an electrical charge created between two people keeping them connected, I ask the question again. Do you believe you’ll ever be able to recreate the same connection you felt with the first person? As a realist who tries to be optomistic, and yes I know the dichotomy of that statement, I think the answer is undeniably no. You might form a different connection and it might even be a stronger one, but you cannot recreate something that isn’t naturally there. For some that can be a hard fact to face.
We’ve all experienced this in one way or another. When you lose your best friend and slowly start making new friends you discover that the relationships just aren’t quite the same. The same thing can be said for significant others. Now sometimes that can be a good thing if the relationship that you’re trying to replace was a toxic one. However, often it can be disappointing when you find you’re not energized in the new relationship the way you used to be in your old one.
That electric charge, the spark that exhilarated you, is either there or it isn’t. It doesn’t matter how caring, sweet, or seemingly perfect your new friend or significant other might be. The bottom line is they just aren’t the person that you were drawn to like a moth to a flame. At the end of the day, the only question that now stands is can you be okay without that person who used to make you feel so alive?
It will never be the same. No matter how similar some people might be, we are all unique. All you can hope for is that the new person in the friendship or relationship will bring its own uniqueness that you will learn to cherish, for its own reasons, as much as you did the old one.
You’re so very right. Some times that something many of us forget.