Alexis Senge JohnsonHave you looked at a friend of yours and wondered at what point you stopped having anything in common that you could talk about? That moment just happened to me within the last month. I actually questioned what prompted a friend to text message me out of the clear blue after barely speaking to me over the last 4 years. Since it was via text message I cannot be sure of my friend’s reaction, but I can guess that it didn’t cause a warm fuzzy feeling.
It was at this moment that I realized we don’t have anything in common anymore and we probably haven’t in a very long time. Quite a while a ago we both went in our own separate directions and have changed very much since then. I started thinking about when we crossed paths in the last few years and realized that we lost the ability to even be able to understand each other’s point of reference in conversations. Our lives have become so different that essentially it is like talking to a whole different person.
It made me consider if I was the only person who has felt this way. When do you acknowledge that you’ve grown apart from a friend and become just acquaintances? Do you even acknowledge something like that out loud? Considering I know that the internet is a vast space this blog is publicly available on, I’m going to assume that this friend may stumble upon this at any point in time after it has been published. Therefore, I don’t mean this to be rude or insulting but I am wondering where we lost touch? Maybe it was the very different paths we decided to pursue or even the things we learned along the way. I guess it is possible that others who became involved in our lives along the way could have had something to do with it as well.
I’m not sure when it happened or what caused it, but I do know I barely know this person any more. We have completely different lives, interests, and goals. I can’t remember the last time we had a conversation in person that was about anything actually meaningful. To be blunt, I’m not even exactly sure why this person keeps my phone number in their cell phone at this point. I have a few other friends I met around the same time and even in the same settling. We’ve all been there for one another in times of need. Those friends and I have laughed together, cried together and made stupid (but funny) decisions together. We all still text and speak frequently about everything from serious life decisions to ice cream recommendations. However, this other friend took a right turn without me somewhere along the way and became an acquaintance.
As someone who has only a few friends that are kept close, it’s hard for me to admit that a friend has turned into an acquaintance but I think it’s time to be honest. Our friendship transitioned a long time ago and I may never understand why but I know you are once again onto another adventure and I wish you nothing but the best. Maybe one day our paths will cross again and we’ll remember exchange a warm “hello,” but I think it’s safe to say that we’ve grown apart. Enjoy each moment of your journey through life and thrive in the opportunities that come your way.
It could be nostalgia and a wish for what you used to have that made your friend reach out. Possibly there were things going on in her life that were big enough that she kept the situation private. She might be lost and wants to reestablish her old connections. These are just quesses, but a differnet way of looking at the situation.
No matter what, I’d be flattered that there is something about you that she feels holds value and felt the need to reach out. Hope this helps. 🙂
Thank your for the fresh look on the subject. It’s always good to have new eyes take a look at things.