When I thought of one day having a successful career, husband and children I never thought that would include saying things like, “please don’t lick the dog” and “take your finger out of your brother’s nose please.” Between board meetings and calls to thank donors, I find myself now having the weirdest conversations with school administration about odd habits our oldest acquired out of the middle of nowhere. Motherhood is truly moments of insanity balanced with equal moments of hilarity.
After twenty years of working with people of all generations, I never thought my skills of negotiating and logicality would be rivaled by that of a tiny human and yet I find myself trying to outwit a toddler daily. He’s lucky he’s cute so that I can find the humor in things when he manages to stump me occasionally with his simplified logic. On the other hand, like every other parent, I find myself unable to explain even the simplest of concepts to him to avoid the world-ending tears some days.
Never did I think I’d be rendered speechless about a sandwich G insisted was broken after he requested I cut the sandwich in half. You haven’t lived until you’ve been interrogated by a tiny human about why you let the ice he asked for melt in his hand, why the baseboards won’t come off the wall, why he can’t chew water, or why you gave him the orange cup he asked for. Oh yes, the inner workings of the toddler mind is a daily mystery to solve and equally one to resist laughing at when handling situations.
All those years of experience didn’t prepare me one iota for taking on the minds of young children. It’s hard enough to explain to an adult why some others have hatred in their hearts but try finding a way to explain to a three-year-old why someone was so mean to him for seemingly no reason at all. It’s virtually impossible to not end up going around in circles while he looks at me puzzled like when the dog doesn’t understand what I’m saying to her. Some days I’ve learned it’s just best to say, “they were cranky because they skipped their nap.” Being over tired he gets but being mean down to your core is something inconceivable by him at this age.
As our boys’ brains develop, every day is a new experience for them as well as us. For now, I’ll take a deep breath and chuckle on the inside every time I have to tell one of them, “please don’t eat THAT” or “fingers don’t go there.” I know these days won’t last forever and one day I’ll look back on the conversations with them and miss their innocence.