It’s been a while since I had a rant about some new fashion craze, so I’m overdue for another. I just can’t hold myself back any longer as I’m now seeing this everywhere. Have you seen the newest style in denim shorts? I like to say they look more like a pair of boy short cut underwear, but apparently there are gals out there that feel as if they do indeed count a a pair of shorts to be worn outside of the house. I remember being in high school on the beach side and shorts being so tiny that they could be classified more as a belt then a pair of shorts, but now this has just gotten out of control.
These are the latest and greatest in women’s fashion and I’ll be the first to say that I’m just not giving in to this trend. Now, it’s not because I couldn’t rock them but because some times you just have to say no. All my years as a dancer and hours spent in the gym classify me as exactly the type of gal that could pull these off. I’ve got more than my fair share of junk in the trunk, but I’m refusing to wear something like this outside of my house for the whole darn world to see.
The cut on these can only be referred to by a phrase my mother coined in my much younger years as “cheek leak.” Why on earth would I want to purposely put on a pair of shorts that are designed on purpose for my butt cheeks to hang out of? Doesn’t that defeat the purpose of even putting clothes on. Hell, this is barely a step above leaving the house in just your underwear. Gals, have some class. Just because you’ve got the body to flaunt doesn’t mean you should for the whole world at all times. I’ve seen everything from tweens, teens, college students, mom’s and even cougars sporting these shorts out in the Central Florida theme parks and it’s just not right on so many levels.
If it’s not these shorts then it’s the mini dresses that stop exactly where the bottom of your buttock meets the leg. It was bad enough when this fashion trend popped up, but this year the new twist to it is to create the dresses in the most eye catching, over the top, obnoxious prints. I’m not quite sure why someone would want to wear a dress that makes them match the print of carpeting in an Aztec themed hotel’s convention center, but clearly they must as I’ve been seeing the dresses being worn by gals at every age.
I see these things every day when walking through the theme parks, but going out recently reminded me that there are very few gals who understand that you can be even sexier when covered up then when you’re letting it all hang out. On one of the rare occasions that I get dressed up to go out at night, I had the opportunity to test this theory. Wearing nothing but this collar high, knee length dress shown below and a pair of nude colored stilettos I decided to go against the grain in a location packed to the brim with much younger gals clad in dresses and skirts that barely covered their rears while they popped out of their tops.
As they tugged at their dresses, tops or skirts while on the dance floor, at the bar and just trying to navigate across the room, I had a free hand for my drink and wristlet all night as I didn’t have to battle this. While guys scanned the room and looked at these ladies for only seconds like lions on the prowl for a weakling, I found more than a few holding their gaze in my direction for considerably longer. What was the difference? Those gals were much younger, with much more physically to offer than myself and had every bit of it on display quite publicly that evening. Probably almost ten years their elder, I chose to leave most to the imagination and yet some how those same guys the gals were trying to trap gave me several more seconds of their attention.
It’s true that they could have been thinking to themselves, “how did that old maid even manage to get in here?” and if they are I’m just fine with that because at least I represented myself in a respectful manner that I can live with at the end of the day. If the idea is to get guys to look at you then I can say you’re achieving your goal. However, it’s the way they are viewing you that you should start considering now. There is a way to be classy and sexy at the same time, but I can assure you these “cheek leak” shorts and mini dresses aren’t the way to do so.