From Making Magic to Changing Lives: Transforming Leadership and Revolutionizing Organizations

Photo Courtesy of Lauren Schumacher Photography
Photo Courtesy of Lauren Schumacher Photography

It was James C. Dobson who once said:

“Don’t marry the person you think you can live with; marry only the individual you think you can’t live without.”

I don’t think you realize how true his statement can be until you’ve made the mistake of marrying someone that you only though you can live with instead of the person you can’t seem to live without.  If you’ve ever had the experience of having someone walk into your life that you can’t seem to live without then you know exactly where I’m coming from.  At this point in life that might not be something you’ve had the opportunity to experience and that’s alright.  There’s no need to fret over it.  As a matter of fact, I believe you shouldn’t pay any attention to that thought at all because that’s when the most organic things happen in life.

It’s generally on just a regular old day when suddenly you meet that person whom from the moment you interact with you know that in some way your life will be changed.  It could be a chance encounter at the gym, running errands, while working, or maybe even just going about your day at school.  You might not be sure of what it is at the moment, but something about your first interaction with them has you hoping there will be a second.  I’ve always said if it is meant to be then it’s meant to be.  If that second interaction comes about then don’t brush it off as a coincidence if the moment you meet there is once again an unexplained connection that seems to take place.

Some of you out there are surely huffing and puffing while reading this and mumbling under your breath about how that is only the stuff fairytales are made of.  I used to be that person too and would generally join in the bashing of this theory.  However, once you’ve experienced this moment then you know there is no going back.  You cannot forget the unexplained feeling that occurred, the way your heart irrationally began racing for no reason, the almost electric feeling that sprang forth when you connected with the other person or even the elated serenity that washed over you while in their presence.

I’ll tell you this right now, you won’t know you cannot live without them at the time.  Chances are it probably won’t happen until some kind of distance grows between you, whether that be by physical separation or an emotional falling out of some kind.  Either way, the moment you think that they are the person you cannot live a fulfilled life without better not be the moment that you’ve made the mistake of marrying the person you think you can life with.  Before you go down that road ask yourself which it is, because I can guarantee it is easier to make a course correction before marriage than it is after.  After all, you’re not going to be able to recreate what you had with the individual you cannot live without with the person you just think you can live with.

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