In Pursuit Of Family – Part I


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It took me reaching the age of 30 before I finally became comfortable in my own skin, but I’m proud of my age and not looking for an opportunity to hide it in any way. That being said, there are some things that come with being in your thirties that don’t make it as pleasurable as one would hope. Top of my list the last few years was what I’ll kindly call the change to your fertile-mertile-ness and the emotional battle that goes along with investigating the whole situation.

Medical investigation and occasionally, for some, intervention becomes a part of the process of starting a family. That’s one of those moments in which you suddenly look around and realize that being an adult blows hard core. It might not be right away, but it will most definitely happen before you’re poked and prodded for what feels like the millionth time.  

I managed to not crack through the sonogram and bevy of blood tests that followed, but it was the Hysterosalpingogram (HSG) that put the initial chip in my exterior. I cannot even begin to explain the less than pleasurable experience of an HSG test so instead I’ll provide you with a link to check it out on your own because my summary of the experience includes descriptions such as “injecting boiling lava directly into…” and “worse than waterboarding.” 

Upon taking an extended lunch break to go have the HSG done, after starting the day off with blood being drawn for the third time that week, I can admit that planning to return to work was a horrible idea and one that I would never suggest someone else consider trying. I managed to survive the remaining hours at work, but just barely. Throw in the fact that you don’t announce that as being your lunch plans and that you have to return to work with a smile on your face for the rest of the day and I’ll tell you it all adds up to an emotional breakdown the moment you walk in the door of your house. What a way to spend a Friday night!

The whole infertility experience isn’t one that you generally discuss at dinner parties or over drinks with friends, although it should be something that can be discussed so openly but I’ll save that for another time. Instead it tends to be something that only is discussed amongst those involved and therefore can leave you feeling a bit isolated as you face such an emotionally taxing and physically demanding process. While my husband did do his best to find the silver lining out of each doctor’s visit, I couldn’t help but be frustrated that I was the one that was repeatedly subjected to invasive tests. Of course my husband had to go through a few initial ones, but after that he was luckily off the hook. For me, however, the initial tests were just the tip of the iceberg.

Curtain Up?

The 2014 – 2015 theater season was apparently the one which finally brought forward new musicals inspired by personal experiences. First George Takei opened Allegiance and then Sting opened The Last Ship. Allegiance did, however, preview in San Diego at The Old Globe during 2012 before planning to head to the big white way while The Last Ship previewed in Chicago and then headed to Broadway all in 2014. Despite a possible difference in their approach, both shows share the commonality of being based upon life experiences of those that have starred in them. 

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Allegiance sprang forth from George Takei’s recount of personal experiences as a child in the internment camp of America. Set during the Japanese American internment period during World War II, it follows the story of the Kimura family over the weeks and years post Pearl Harbor. The family is relocated from their farm in Salinas, California to rural Wyoming as they are sequestered in the Heart Mountain internment camp. Historically gut wrenching and emotionally consuming, Allegiance might have found their initial ticket sales to be just as much of a struggle as The Last Ship experienced.


Photo credit: NY Times


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Telling the story of the dedicated community encased in the shipbuilding industry in Wallsend and their change of fate with the closure of the town’s shipyard, Sting coupled inspiration from his 1991 album The Soul Cages and his own childhood experiences to bring the story to life on stage in The Last Ship. Being a diehard fan of Sting’s music, I was drawn to Chicago to see the show while it was in previews and found myself immediately emotionally involved in the storyline of the show. It’s a shame to see the show struggled with ticket sales as audiences who actually did see it raved about it.  


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It used to not be often that the curtain opened on new show and so I had hoped to see both shows succeed as we headed into 2015. Amercian Idiot and Avenue Q are shows that proved to have a dedicated following and successful ticket sales, but struggled getting up off the ground when they debuted as well so I crossed my fingers and hoped that both Allegiance and The Last Ship would find themselves in the same category. Unfortunately, The Last Ship closed before the season was over much to my dismay. Sting did step into a secondary role in hopes of increasing ticket sales, but it wasn’t enough to keep it afloat. 

 I don’t regret us making the trip to Chicago to see it The Last Ship in previews, but I will regret not making the trip to New York to see how it had changed by the time it hit Broadway. Now that it’s closed I won’t have the opportunity to once again be transported to Wallsend and engulfed in music that has become such a big part of my life. I highly urge you to take a chance on new shows when they premiere otherwise I’ll guarantee you’ll miss out on a priceless memory.  

Breathtaking Artistry

It’s no big secret that I’m a geek deep down on the inside. The right dress, hair and makeup can deceivingly make me appear to be a girly gal who loves to spend a day at the spa. However, those who really know me know I rather trade in the heels for my flip flops and rock a ball cap with my ripped jeans and a t-shirt.

Those same people know that I’m a huge dork. Yes, it’s true. The color coded pen utilizing kind of dork. I could spend hours in an office supply store just reveling in all the goodies. Likewise, I could spend hours just wandering through theaters appreciating those that are really done well from an audience, performer and technical points of view.  

Therefore, when I stumbled upon a BuzzFeed post of the 9 most beautiful theaters in the world I was definitely intrigued. I will say that if I had the opportunity to visit each and every one I would, but only partially to see the picturesque view. The other part of me is dying to see what it would take to utilize these venues as actual performance spaces.   

Photo credit: BuzzFeed


Case in point, The Seebühne which appears to be a massive stage afloat in Lake Constance in Austria that is utilized as a stage and has a space for 7,000 audience members on the shore. It’s said to be the centerpiece of the Bregenz Festival, that is held every July and August, and is used as the location for large-scale operas and other musical performances. That being said, take a look at the photo below and someone please explain to me how you do a full scale show without a wing or dressing rooms that are accessible from the stage.

Photo credit: BuzzFeed

The rest of the theaters on the list are breathtaking, but easier to visualize functioning as one would traditionally expect. Luckily, the Central Florida area finally traded in the Bob Carr Performing Arts Centre for a new performing arts center and thusly has given the Orlando Ballet and Orlando Philharmonic an appropriate performance space for them to truly be appreciated in. Albeit gorgeous, I don’t believe that the Dr. Phillips Performing Arts Center would have made the BuzzFeed list as the tenth entry due to being much more modern in style than many of those showcased. Regardless, it’s a pleasure to finally have a respectable performing arts venue in Orlando and the article has prompted me to consider taking a trip to Tampa to see a show in the Tampa Theater. How could you not want to take in a show that makes the audience feel as if it’s in a Mediterranean courtyard?

Photo credit: BuzzFeed

A Dangerous & Distructive Guest

One of the most important life lessons I grasped as I passed into my early 30s several years ago was to stop comparing myself to others. For most of my life as a performer I compared my abilities to others and used it as a gauge of my talent level. At times it inspired me to push myself to work harder or left me feeling hopeless. I’m saddened that I didn’t become comfortable in my own skin until three decades of my life had passed, but now I revel in the fact that I have learned to not compare myself to others anymore and live a much more peaceful life because of it. 

Now, don’t get me wrong, I do still have a tendency to push myself further in most aspects of life. However, now I push myself to the best of my abilities and not to someone else’s and that makes all the difference. I’ve embraced my individualism and couldn’t be more happy with how that has reduced drama in my world. My only wish is that others could do the same. Which leads me to a very important question. Why do some women turn everything into a competition?

We all know those gals that have to be the best at everything. They have to be the first to do something or be everyone’s favorite. Their ability to turn life events into a competition of epic proportions is found by most to be unbecoming of a lady. If they weren’t the best, the first or the favorite then don’t expect a congratulatory gesture coming your way. If you do see one chances are it will most certainly be served with a side of disdain and sarcasm. 


I often wonder how these gals live their life constantly comparing themselves to others and if it is really a sign of a lack of confidence in themselves. It must be utterly exhausting inviting that much envy into their consciousness twenty-four hours a day. At times they may even use their energy to put other gals down in an effort to build themselves up. I just can’t imagine maintaining that schedule of negativity all day. Whew! I barely have time in my life to do my own laundry now, so I’d love to know how they balance it all. 

Since I can’t speak for how they keep all those plates spinning, I’ll just say that I highly recommend living a life where you’re comfortable not just in your own skin but also in the decisions you make for your life. I’ll tell you what, it sure does simplify your outlook on the world when you stop comparing yourself to everyone around you and instead focus on enjoying the moments you’re a part of wrote they pass you by. It’s a truly peaceful place to be when you’re happy in life.

Oh How I’ve Missed You

Hello blogosphere, I’ve missed you! I know it has been far too long and I disappeared a bit like a flighty fling you were hoping to turn into a real relationship. Didn’t mean to drop you like a bad habit, but I’ll admit I let life get in the way.
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Since its been so many months, I’m sure you can image that a lot has changed in my world as I’m sure it has in yours. Without further delay here’s the Cliff Notes version that I’m sure I’ll expand upon later. After more than 2.5 years we finally learned at the end of 2014 why the process of getting pregnant seemed impossible for us (yeah my fault – darn PCOS), underwent fertility treatments and welcomed G to the family in late 2015.
Welcome to the world G!

Welcome to the world G!

I was blessed to be the Maid of Honor for the wedding of my dearest friend in early 2015. My husband was then cast in one of his biggest dream roles that same summer and continued to follow his dreams by opening his own massage location catering to performers and athletes later in the year. In addition he joined the massage team at Cirque du Soleil and we both started a new adventure working with a health and wellness company.

If all of that wasn’t enough, I worked in 4 different locations doing 4 different jobs with my company in the last year and just this week began my fifth as I returned from maternity leave. Thankfully, after 3.5 years of working seasonally and on temporary assignments, this time the job offer was full-time so I can breathe easy knowing I’ve got a permanent job and health insurance for all of us. The offer came mere weeks before my maternity leave began, so the timing couldn’t have been better.

Through it all, friends have come and friends have gone. We’ve learned quickly who our true friends are and hold them even closer to our hearts. They are an extension of our family, especially for me since I don’t really have siblings. I can’t imagine my life without some and wouldn’t ever want to.

It’s been a wild hiatus that I’ve taken from this blog, but now I’m finally ready to return and face the world with humor and inquisitive wonder once again. Hope you’re prepared to rejoin me along the way as you never know what each post will hold. Whether you’ve made your presence known or just joined as a lurker of the years, it’s always been a delight to have you along the way. Welcome back!